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Posted by Sandy on January 28th 2010

Instead Of Nagging…

As many parents and partners know, nagging is of little use when you live with a visually minded person.  Especially one who has hyperlexia.  Maybe my husband noticed the Post Its I was starting to leave for myself?  He started to leave these around the kitchen:

PostIt001

PostIt002

100% effective because they made me laugh.

Posted by Sandy on January 27th 2010

Why Questions Are An Asset, Not A Nuisance

ClassroomChairs

I just started reading Seth Godin’s new book Linchpin, and although I’m not a rabid follower of his, I feel a huge sense of relief.  I think this line sums up how I felt about my previous job as a teacher in an urban school district:

We are surrounded by bureaucrats, note takers, literalists, manual readers, TGIF laborers, map followers, and fearful employees

What mattered to me in that job was finding out what black hole my students’ special ed paperwork had disappeared to and why no one was telling me they had IEPs that were to be followed.  What mattered to me was finding out why we were using a reading curriculum that we were being paid to use despite its ineffectiveness.  Instead I was disciplined for not following the exact order outlined in the teacher’s guide.

I questioned why kids were being hit and forcefully restrained.

I refused to take the hint that I should stop filing incident reports when parents and students made overtly racist comments like “dirty Chinese”, “Chinatown girl”, or “do you eat cats and dogs” to me.

Strangely, no one else felt the need to ask questions like this.  They were happy to show up five minutes before the kids came into the classroom and leave as soon as the bell rang for dismissal.

On Fridays, instead of spending any time preparing in the mornings, they got together and ate donuts and I was weird for choosing to prepare for the day.  It was considered anti-union to skip out on the Friday donuts and coffee because that meant you weren’t late picking up your students and it made everyone else look bad.  Everyone would get mad at you for just trying to do your job.

What I learned was that in that system you DON’T ASK QUESTIONS.  You don’t think about how you can make anything better, you just do as you’re told.

Systems like that are not only outdated, they’re doomed to fail.  They talk a good talk about all their different plans for change, but when employees aren’t allowed to ask questions, nothing can ever change.    It’s unfortunate both for employees who feel so stifled and oppressed that they end up leaving and for students who are cheated out of a fair education.

I hear this sentiment expressed by many adults on the spectrum who are natural troubleshooters or analysts, and yet find that their employers don’t welcome this gift.  In my case, the problem was that my schooling was geared towards an analytical career (even my masters program seemed like a pre-Ph.D track), but I, being young and idealistic, chose an overly bureaucratic job.

While a career change isn’t an option for everyone, you might want to ask yourself whether you’re more willing to change for your job or whether you want your job to change for you meh, on second thought I’m not liking that advice so much.  What would you suggest for someone who finds his or her inquisitiveness and desire to fix things discouraged at work?

(photo: Ollie T)

Posted by Sandy on January 20th 2010

We Are The World?

I really wonder sometimes about the few autistics who rant and rave about acceptance yet feel free to make overtly racist comments. (For newer readers here, I’m Korean-American.) I get that the whole mind-blindness thing can play a factor.  Is that really what it is?

This question was brought up a while back by Turner and Kowalski and it’s been on my mind ever since.

What’s worse is that people have the nerve to talk to me as if they never made those comments, or they are completely unaware that their comments could be construed as offensive.
I don’t come across very many non-white autistic bloggers or Twitterers.  That in itself doesn’t bother me because most of my friends are white, but it does create an atmosphere that lacks cultural diversity.  And no, liking anime doesn’t count!

From what I can see, these few people think it’s okay to mock or disparage certain ethnicities because they talk differently…or have mannerisms…or have different eating habits.

Wow, doesn’t that sound familiar?

I just don’t get it.  /Rant.

(The vast, vast majority of autistics I’ve talked to have been really great, for the record.)

Posted by Sandy on January 18th 2010

Because Going Out Shouldn’t Be So Hard

bread

Dear readers, I need your input.  I have the opportunity to train a group of retailers on how to make shopping and dining out more tolerable for autistics and our friends/family.  As you know, this issue is near and dear to my heart because of the sensory and auditory difficulties I’ve dealt with for so long.  (See this post and that post.)

One of the biggest challenges for me is conversational noise, which I know they can’t eliminate.  But it would help to be seated facing away from a crowd so I can focus better.  It doesn’t cost them anything and would decrease the amount of sensory stimulation I receive.

What are the biggest challenges for you in restaurants, shops, churches, etc?  What do you wish they would do to be more accommodating of autism and SPD on an ongoing basis or for a special event?

I’m excited to be planning an event designed to help autistics and families feel more comfortable going out.  Not only is this a great thing for the people who get to participate in my area, but it’s important to get retailers to understand why and how to accommodate autism, and even better for them to hear the voices of people on on the spectrum.

(photo: skateaddict)
Posted by Sandy on January 15th 2010

Need A Moment?

You know those Twix commercials where a person finds him or herself in an awkward situation and breaks out a Twix bar to buy some extra time to think of a response?  It would be so super great if life worked like that.

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