Subscribe Via RSSSometimes You Have To Be Cruel To Be Kind
(photo: New York Times)
I do not lend books to friends. I do not want to lose my books, – or my friends.
At first it sounds cold, but if you think about it this is a clever rule. How many times have you lent things out with the best of intentions, only to face the inevitable tension that results when your friends fail to return them?
Because social etiquette doesn’t allow us to ask for our belongings back without risking our friendship, I think it would work better to set clear boundaries from the beginning. Either make it clear when you want your things back or don’t do it at all in the first place.
Pondering this quote for a few minutes really helped me to see how a little coldness in the short term can save a friendship in the long term.
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2 Responses
I think that’s cute. It’s kind of the same thing as with lending money. I only lend things (and amounts) that will not make me sorry if I don’t get it back.
I caution my son before we take a toy to the park that he may have to share it; I feel bad instilling a bit of selfishness in him but sometimes, If I know he’s not going to want to share it, it’s better to let him make the decision to leave a beloved item safely at home than have him upset and the other kids think less of him.
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