Etiquette Basics in (Almost) Any Culture

Upon visiting foreign countries, I find that you can often strip away much of the small talk and many of the “extras” relevant to that specific culture and discover a few basic social skills that are considered essential in many cultures.

No one will tell you to do these things, but when you find yourself in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language and don’t know where you’re going, you learn by trial and error that there are a few things you can do and say to make every situation easier.  Knowing these basics can help a person understand the minimum that’s expected from them at home.

1. Please and Thank You

Please indicates that you are not commanding the person to do something (even if you really are) and you are not trying to insult them.  Thank you lets them know that you don’t take their act for granted.  I had a child recently ask me why we have to say “thank you” and in 4-year-old speak all I could say is that it makes them like you better!

2. Hello and Goodbye

You don’t always have to say hi first, but if someone says hi or hello, you should say it back to them.  Since I can never figure out why people choose the greetings they do, I just echo the greetings they say to me.  In Mexico, everyone said hola.  But in Colombia, some people said buenas dias, while others said buenas, and one or two said hola.  I didn’t know if this was a matter of degree of formality, so I stuck with whatever they said to me.

3. Smile

Smile even if you have nothing to smile about, because it’s the only way someone else has of knowing you come in peace.  They will also think you look a million times more attractive.

What about eye contact?

As much as eye contact is emphasized as a sign of trustworthiness in some cultures, I wouldn’t recommend forcing it in other countries because it’s not universal.  In some Asian countries it’s a sign of disrespect.  R and I subconsciously choose one thing to ease up on when we go on vacation – he gets to wear all the sloppy t-shirts he wants, I get to stop trying to make eye contact.