Subscribe Via RSSWill Sensory Processing Disorder Keep Me Out of Restaurants Forever?
My sensory processing issues that occur at restaurants have become some kind of sad joke by now on my blog. It happened over the weekend again, and both times I noticed that I was so overwhelmed by someone else’s conversation that I couldn’t read a menu. Both times I had to leave.
Noise at restaurants has been a major issue for me since I was a toddler. When my family planned meals out, someone always had to stay home with me because I was prone to epic meltdowns at restaurants.
This is pretty ironic, because I’m also known for being a foodie and love finding good restaurants, especially when I travel.
Contributing factors
- I have a hard time distinguishing the sounds my companions are saying (for example, simple vs. thimble or pop vs. Bob). It takes a lot of concentration and extra time to process their speech, even under quiet conditions.
- Certain sounds and noises sound much louder to me than they are! So I might hear a faraway conversation as if the people are sitting an inch away from me.
- The pitch of a person’s voice matters. There’s something about most women’s voices and intonations that I find really frustrating. (Irritating is a more accurate word.) The sound is like nails on a chalkboard to me, plus interpreting variations in tone means extra work.
What’s the big deal?
If you have never experienced sensory processing disorder firsthand you might be thinking this sounds pretty straightforward. What makes it so complicated is that it’s so hard to realize this as it’s happening. It often manifests as anger, irritation, and more anger. Making the connection between your anger and auditory processing is a huge step towards finding a way to rise above it.
What’s so special about restaurants? My guess is that they tend to be places where large numbers of people congregate and converse for long periods of time. R and I gravitate toward smaller BYOB restaurants that tend to be quieter (and eat out less) and avoid notorious family eateries. We find ourselves eating lunch at off hours and getting our food to go. I’m sure there are plenty of parents who do this with their kids!
Does this ever happen to you? What do you do?
6 Responses
We find that Gus often has a difficult times in crowded restaurants. It seems that the noise overwhelms him and as soon as he enters a place he has an idea of where he needs to sit, so he gets really annoyed when we’re told to sit somewhere else. We just ask if it’s possible for us to be seated where he’ll be more comfortable – it tends to be away from the crowded areas, away from vents, closer to windows…he’s a little claustrophobic. The biggest help for him is to go out to less popular places and to go at less popular times (early dinners or lunches). If he’s uncomfortable, we let him walk around outside a place until the food comes and then he has something to focus on that blocks out all the rest. He hum s when he eats, and that helps to soothe him. We rarely go to restaurants and if we want restaurant food, everyone is usually much happier with takeout and a picnic in the living room.
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There’s also a related effect, where the noise is bearable for a while… but after a certain point, gets to the point where it’s unbearable. Which is not good when one’s in the middle of eating but needs to find a quiet place for a moment to avoid a meltdown…
After thinking about the responses I’m getting here and on Twitter, it seems like it would be a good idea to be more proactive about my planning. The worst situations usually happen when we haven’t planned anything, end up desperately hungry, and eat somewhere that we know has a 100% failure rate.
It sounds like me. I get overwhelmed just thinking about it. Eating at off times is most helpful, but in a family of 5 it’s still plenty noisy. Take out at home is so much easier.
Hi,
YES this happens to me. LOL My kids can’t handle the noise–and the epic meltdowns you talk of are common for us (especially at those god awful places like Red Robin that have MUSIC on TOP of crowds of people talking). We avoid restaurants, or go somewhere that my boys can play (I hate to say it, but McDonalds is an easy one) or simply order food delivered.
Truthfully, since we stopped going to restaurants with the boys (it isn’t fun and to spend a lot of money to not have fun really sucks) I have found it ridiculously hard for me to go out even with friends. I am always like, “Am I the only one that thinks this is really loud?!?”
Anyway–sounds like you figured it out: avoid, or go at odd hours.
Thanks for the post,
Hartley
hartleysboys.blogspot.com
I’m lucky that my husband and I both have various sensory processing problems so that we don’t have to debate on whether a place is too loud/obnoxious for us to visit. One of the ways that we’ve begun to deal with the problems (in addition to having two toddler boys) is that we have started using the ordering online options many of the restaurants have been creating. We do the curb pickup and enjoy the same wonderful food without the “atmosphere” that so many people seem to enjoy about going out to eat.
Also, for us even ordering things like pizza online minimizes the amount of screwups that happen with other people either misunderstanding us or us having a hard time understanding them during the ordering process (a huge problem for us on phone conversations).
Best of luck in finding other solutions!
Chrissy