Perpetuating Myths About Autism

Now that “Adam” is making its way into theaters, every day seems to bring another review and another chance to hold my breath and hope the movie doesn’t sound too insulting. It never occurred to me that in this day and age, a movie reviewer would go out of his way to describe Aspergers in the most un-PC way thinkable.

I was wrong.

After reading Rex Reed’s review of Adam, it took me a while to scoop my jaw off the floor. It was this passage in the review that had me reeling:

Far from just another exotic Disease of the Week, Asperger’s is an incurable neurological disorder similar to autism that turns outwardly normal-looking people into high-class idiot savants. I know at least two people with Asperger’s. They are incapable of thinking of anyone or anything outside of themselves…It is lethal to get involved romantically with any person with Asperger’s syndrome, since they care nothing about other people’s feelings, needs or priorities. Almost without exception, they leave you perplexed, riddled with doubt and totally depressed.

I’ve made an effort not to publicly take sides on various controversies, but Reed’s statement that romantic relationships with people on the spectrum were “lethal” used unnecessarily strong language to put down an entire group of people.

As you all know, I’m 1) aspie and 2) happily married to a husband who is NT, mostly by virtue of not having an AS diagnosis.

R and I are the best of friends, and there’s nothing that we’re not able to laugh at together.  We’re a great team because one person can sense when the other is struggling and find a way to support them.  R knows to be alert for situations that might cause sensory meltdowns for me, and I know that he needs a little extra prompting to keep up with meaningful interactions at home.  Did we have to work to get here?  Yes!  Relationships are always work!  But lethal, I would say most certainly not.

I have friends on the spectrum who are in happy, successful relationships, and far more NT friends who struggle to find and stay in even one stable romantic relationship.  Just as there are NTs who do well in relationships and aspies who struggle.

One of my initial reservations about “Adam” when I saw the trailer was the fact that the girl’s family seemed opposed to the idea of her dating man with Aspergers.  It made me uncomfortable to think people would be given serious exposure to this concept, even if it was portrayed as an injustice.  Just the mere exposure was enough to turn me off, but I thought people could at least watch the movie and make the judgement that such prejudice was wrong.  I really never believed anyone would have the nerve to perpetuate that myth.

P.S. – Please take a minute to read another take on the review over at Spectrum Siblings.