I hate shopping, I deplore all things that have to do with chick flicks, romance novels are NOT novels and I refuse to even be in thier genreal vacinity, I get angry around pastel colors, and I would rather vomit then spen one minute listening to useless gossip about who did what with who. Give me my subjects of ancient history and myth over that any day!!

I can’t handle being around, girly girls for very long. The conversation level goes down very quickly, and I swear a few of my brain cells die every minute I have to listen to that nonsense!

On the other hand, I am a jewlery junkie, as said before I love reniassance clothing, even right no I have an elaborate blouse on with some old timey jewlery. And I do enjoy wearing make-up. What I hate is how long it takes to get it on! lol!

So don’t feel bad. We all like what we like. And you are most definately a girl. People can just be dumb.

A few years ago, I was at a computer event in the Midlands, linked to a now-defunct Linux-related podcast. The presentations were great, but the climax of the event was a live version of the podcast. The problem was that it contained virtually no on-topic content and a whole lot of smutty talk. I complained about it on my blog and received comments to the effect that I should listen to another show instead.

The thing is, I felt the need to mention that there were ladies present (there were a few, but the audience was overwhelmingly male) to justify my dislike of that kind of talk. I’m not a prude and don’t mind a few F-words, but I shouldn’t have to mention ladies when I object to that kind of talk in a completely inappropriate place.

btw temple grandin has a distinct sense of style, and even tho i’d never wear what she wears, i wld never dare say she lacks style… it’s just her own style that is all… and that in itself is worth celebrating – our own styles…

follow our own drum beats, gals! and to hell with what cruel things ppl say… jealous or just stupidly narrowminded, who cares?… easier said than done, but it’s our own perceptions of ourselves that make the difference in the end… and we are worth the struggle for…

bravo to female aspies of ALL shapes sizes and manifestations!

i was too often mistaken as a boy in my childhood, just becos i played with ‘boy toys’ – chemistry sets instead of make up palettes, caterpillars instead of fluffy soft toys, paintboxes instead of doll houses etc – but nobody can tell that by looking at me now… becos what they see is a well put together glamourous female… why? perhaps it started becos i wanted to ‘discover’ my own femininity, but soon it became an artistic project – i m an artist after all, always hv been… and turning myself into a fashionista glamour queen has all been part of the artistic journey more than keeping up appearances… and why ever not?

just as nobody has the right to make unkind remarks abt any woman / girl who isnt into dressing up, nobody shd judge any book by it’s cover…

i know for a fact MOST women dress up to attract the opposite sex or to compete with each other, but for me, that means nothing… i dress up becos it is a wonderful part of my life, to put things together, colours, forms, shapes, textures, effects… and yes, i hv even been interviewed on tv for my sense of style…

what many (not all) NTs dont see is that we each bring with us different wonderful things to the world we live in – if we can look beneath the surfaces, dare to turn over a few stones, and look at things with different eyes…

but how many of us DARE to do so? either way?

i struggle with the guy version of this constantly. it’s been a serious barrier to the development of friendships, relationships.

for example, i am heterosexual…have an active libido…but i loathe “guy talk”, absolutely hate it. and what happens when a group of guys are sitting around, discussing their sexual history, conquests? I sit…bored…trying not to overtly sigh. it’s beyond juvenine, so I can never play along.

anyway, if you’re a guy and you fail to contribute to these conversations, you’re generally perceived to be either a loser or gay or both.

there’s a certain vernacular guys employ when expressing status; and reciprocation of that vernacular is expected. failing to reciprocate results in punishment of some sort, usually exclusion, but always pejorative labeling ( loser, gay).

my conversation patterns never match up…which is great, i have zero interest in sounding like a juvenile moron, but the consequences are frustrating. the fact that i have to be verbally attacked, excluded, just because i failed to grunt and express the correct “guy” traits during one of their masculinity-affirming rituals.

this also pops up in that, not doing well socially, i.e. failing to maintain relationships, creates a certain stigma. i did not have girlfriends in my teens, during college, during my entire 20’s. very socially isolated. people misinterpreted this. guys are supposed to, if not date, at least talk about women, just generally express attraction for the opposite sex. my conversation never includes that sort of thing, as mentioned, it always feel creepy to talk that way, even though it’s socially acceptable…and my social deficits kept me from dating. so…since i was alone, not dating…and not breaking out the guy talk… many people assumed i was gay. had to hear this from family, friends, which was embarassing…it was particularly painful, one thanksgiving, when a cousin took me aside and, with some hostility, asked if i was a “fag”. it hurt, i was really angry about this. just frustrated with the stupidity of others, feeling trapped in this weird situation where i’m being punished for lacking signals that have no inherent value.

so. from my experience, asperger’s has a huge impact on gender traits, how they’re expressed, how they’re percieved by others.

thanks for focusing on this topic.

And I don’t really see much wrong with that.
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