Comments on: Defending Others Vs. Defending Myself From Bullies

By: misfit

misfit — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 01:36:34 +0000

wow, I can identify totally with this. Story of my life all the way through school. I get the same from some of the “out-laws”; they would invite me but say No Children when my kids were small, and they are from a Mediterranean-type culture where kids are usually welcomed at weddings and parties. Then when I wouldn’t go, they got offended. After far too long of this, husband said I no longer needed to try to make nice with his family. Sadly the men are just as weird. We tried building bridges recently but these people are as annoying as ever! Other “foreign” wives seem to have been accepted fully, which really rankles. But I guess they aren’t aspies…
And yeah, I go all Mama Bear when it’s my kids or an animal (any animal, not just my kitty) that is being harrassed. So — bravo for putting the Maltie’s owner in her place!

By: i-geek

i-geek — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:18:44 +0000

Coming out of lurkerdom to say: I totally hear you and agree on catty women. Not long after my (now) husband and I got engaged, we attended the out-of-town wedding of his best friend. The bride, while nice enough on her own, was one of those popular party girls in college, and had about eight of her friends there as bridesmaids. The girls (bride, maids, and assorted other female guests) were planning to go out clubbing the night before the wedding, and the guys were heading to a pub instead. Guess who didn’t get invited to the girls’ night and ended up tagging along with the guys (since my husband wouldn’t leave me alone in the hotel room)? Found out later that the girls “forgot” to invite me and that the bride got an earful from the groom. Nice effort on his part, but the tone was already set for the weekend. Things didn’t improve considerably- I got booted from table to table at the reception by the bride’s mother, etc. Good times.

By: janny226

janny226 — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:55:30 +0000

Argh, 5+7 equals… um…
Anyway. Sandy, my heart goes out to you! Maybe I skated to the side of most of the cattiness or just don’t remember it, but I don’t have a lot of middle school/high school girl chum memories, that’s for sure!

I find the nice bathrooms to be so welcoming. The designer of that room would be delighted you were able to find respite there!

And good for you for sticking up for your dog.

That’s really all I have to say, just a big “thumbs up” for you.

By: Katie

Katie — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:37:34 +0000

That must have been awful Sandy. I’m sorry that you had to go through that, again. I just can’t understand why women can’t be nice to each other (yes, I’m generalizing). It’s why I’m on (possibly permanent) hiatus from Twitter. It sounds like you’re ok with setting clear boundaries with your family and Molly – I’m sure it’ll get easier for you. Hugs, Katie

By: Defending Others Vs. Defending Myself From Bullies- Aspie Teacher | girls

Defending Others Vs. Defending Myself From Bullies- Aspie Teacher | girls — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:34:15 +0000

[...] Visit link: Defending Others Vs. Defending Myself From Bullies- Aspie Teacher [...]

By: Adrian

Adrian — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:57:40 +0000

That is so sad. Sometimes I just can’t stand women. The problem with women is that they are just good haters. If someone decides they don’t like you and can convince the group that you aren’t a good person, you are sunk. I’ve never found a way to successfully turn the tide on that one. I just go find a nicer pond to swim in.

The interesting thing is that men aren’t that way. I read a book about a woman who disguised herself as a man for a while and she said that men friendships are totally different. Men automatically accept other men until they do something to tick them off, and even then, if you change your tune, they will usually give you a 2nd chance. With women, you have to prove yourself first and there are no 2nd chances. Isn’t that sad?

By: joqatana

joqatana — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:34:24 +0000

I quit tango dancing because from Day 1 I got that treatment from the Tango Women.THat niht they lined up in front of me to keep the men from seeing me & asking me to dance. And every time I tried to participate in any conversation id get that “I hear something but I don’t see anybody saying ” look.
It is almost worse that standing on the playground with the entire 5th grade pointing and laughing at you.
OTOH, when my speech gets out of my Direct Control I get accused of being a bully because when I escalate I get angry and the anger makes me abusive, when I am only trying to make myself understood-that one thing I need compassion for is the very thing that chases people away from me.
So I am on both sides of the bully coin. My only comfort is that ‘Bullies don’;t feel remorse” and I Always do,so I’m not a real bully.
And you should see how people react when I ask them to please ask FIRST before forcing their tiny little dogs to go in Whiskey’s face. She only weighs 180 pounds, after all, why *not* suprise her?

By: Tweets that mention Defending Others Vs. Defending Myself From Bullies- Aspie Teacher -- Topsy.com

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:44:33 +0000

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sherri Caldwell, Elise Butowsky. Elise Butowsky said: RT @aspieteach New post: Defending Others Vs. Defending Myself From Bullies http://bit.ly/3IlXZe [...]

By: Sherri Caldwell - The Rebel Housewife

Sherri Caldwell - The Rebel Housewife — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:41:13 +0000

I just wanted to say, good for you! It is perfectly great for you to enjoy time to yourself (not hiding out, if it is your preference) in a bathroom lounge with your Blackberry than put up with ignorance and meanness. And you are headed in the right direction, as far as self-confidence and standing up for yourself – it just takes practice (defending Molly is great practice). I am 42, with 3 children, ages 15, 12 & 9 (youngest is my little Aspie Phenom!). It took me a couple of years to settle in and become the mommy tiger I am now, protecting my children and learning to stand up for myself, too – no apologies necessary! Again, good for you.

By: Sandy

Sandy — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:40:34 +0000

I did it in the very beginning when my dad questioned my choices. Had to make it clear that I knew what I was doing and would never tolerate disrespect from anyone in my family.