Comments on: Getting to Yes With Accommodations http://www.aspieteacher.com/2010/06/getting-to-yes-with-accommodations/ Mon, 02 Jan 2012 17:30:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Riayn http://www.aspieteacher.com/2010/06/getting-to-yes-with-accommodations/#comment-952 Riayn Thu, 01 Jul 2010 00:40:41 +0000 http://www.aspieteacher.com/?p=2532#comment-952 These are some great tips Sandy. Thanks so much for posting them. I'm fortunate that my sensory problems are not so great that I am prevented from going to places that I want to because of them. However, I have found that I need to plan my visits to coincide with quiet periods, especially for grocery shopping, because me and crowds are not a good mix. These are some great tips Sandy. Thanks so much for posting them.

I’m fortunate that my sensory problems are not so great that I am prevented from going to places that I want to because of them. However, I have found that I need to plan my visits to coincide with quiet periods, especially for grocery shopping, because me and crowds are not a good mix.

]]> By: Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg http://www.aspieteacher.com/2010/06/getting-to-yes-with-accommodations/#comment-951 Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg Wed, 30 Jun 2010 22:33:55 +0000 http://www.aspieteacher.com/?p=2532#comment-951 Great post, Sandy! Like you, I've had mixed success with asking for "accommodations," a word I don't much like. After all, I've been "accommodating" myself for 52 years to NT-majority culture, and no one has ever politely asked me to do so. They just assumed I would, but apparently, I am not allowed to make the same assumption. Anywho... Successes: 1) Asking the people at the local thrift store to turn off the music when I'm there so I can shop. They do, and it's heaven! All it took was an email and a short comment about accessibility. 2) Getting a local restaurant to open up a quiet section on weeknights when my husband and I want to go. My husband talked to them, explained my auditory processing difficulties, and got good results. 3) Getting a hotel to turn off the music in the lobby so I could check in and check out without agony. Again, a simple request clearly stated was sufficient. 4) Getting my doctor to use text-to-text communication with me. My husband was my advocate on that. See "Major NOs below. Major NOs Two doctors refused to make accommodations for my auditory and communication difficulties, even after I asked very, very nicely. A third doctor's office refused to see me at all after seeing my medical file. After that, I asked my husband to intercede with a new doctor because I needed to finish crying my eyes out. I'm sure that asking nicely helps, but it's not foolproof. And you're definitely right about not over-explaining. You end up giving a lot of power away when you over-explain to the wrong people. The more I explain unnecessarily, the more it feels like I'm trying to justify myself or ask permission or apologize, and that doesn't help my case at all. Great post, Sandy!

Like you, I’ve had mixed success with asking for “accommodations,” a word I don’t much like. After all, I’ve been “accommodating” myself for 52 years to NT-majority culture, and no one has ever politely asked me to do so. They just assumed I would, but apparently, I am not allowed to make the same assumption.

Anywho…

Successes:

1) Asking the people at the local thrift store to turn off the music when I’m there so I can shop. They do, and it’s heaven! All it took was an email and a short comment about accessibility.

2) Getting a local restaurant to open up a quiet section on weeknights when my husband and I want to go. My husband talked to them, explained my auditory processing difficulties, and got good results.

3) Getting a hotel to turn off the music in the lobby so I could check in and check out without agony. Again, a simple request clearly stated was sufficient.

4) Getting my doctor to use text-to-text communication with me. My husband was my advocate on that. See “Major NOs below.

Major NOs

Two doctors refused to make accommodations for my auditory and communication difficulties, even after I asked very, very nicely. A third doctor’s office refused to see me at all after seeing my medical file. After that, I asked my husband to intercede with a new doctor because I needed to finish crying my eyes out.

I’m sure that asking nicely helps, but it’s not foolproof. And you’re definitely right about not over-explaining. You end up giving a lot of power away when you over-explain to the wrong people. The more I explain unnecessarily, the more it feels like I’m trying to justify myself or ask permission or apologize, and that doesn’t help my case at all.

]]> By: Viverrine http://www.aspieteacher.com/2010/06/getting-to-yes-with-accommodations/#comment-949 Viverrine Wed, 30 Jun 2010 15:48:38 +0000 http://www.aspieteacher.com/?p=2532#comment-949 That sounds like good news! Have you any step-by-step suggestions on how to actually get started, like how you get to a point where you can ask a person who is in a position to do something about it? There are two businesses I would probably patronize more often ( one especially since it's now the only craft store within 5 miles of my house), if only they didn't have sound systems that seem to really mess with me in disturbing ways. ( The other one is a restaurant that put the speaker for the background music right over the table I would normally select to *reduce* sensory issues, i.e. the only corner that isn't a window. Seems like terrible planning to me but I guess many people just don't think about that.) That sounds like good news! Have you any step-by-step suggestions on how to actually get started, like how you get to a point where you can ask a person who is in a position to do something about it? There are two businesses I would probably patronize more often ( one especially since it’s now the only craft store within 5 miles of my house), if only they didn’t have sound systems that seem to really mess with me in disturbing ways. ( The other one is a restaurant that put the speaker for the background music right over the table I would normally select to *reduce* sensory issues, i.e. the only corner that isn’t a window. Seems like terrible planning to me but I guess many people just don’t think about that.)

]]> By: Melody http://www.aspieteacher.com/2010/06/getting-to-yes-with-accommodations/#comment-947 Melody Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:21:12 +0000 http://www.aspieteacher.com/?p=2532#comment-947 I think these tips are just as useful for parents of Special Needs children, not just for adults. I have yet to not had an accommodation met for the boys when I use those steps. Most other parents doubt me on that. Luckily, I also have school officials who go above and beyond to help me because of my AS. Pre-meeting meetings so nothing comes as a surprise. I think these tips are just as useful for parents of Special Needs children, not just for adults. I have yet to not had an accommodation met for the boys when I use those steps. Most other parents doubt me on that.

Luckily, I also have school officials who go above and beyond to help me because of my AS. Pre-meeting meetings so nothing comes as a surprise.

]]> By: Barbara http://www.aspieteacher.com/2010/06/getting-to-yes-with-accommodations/#comment-946 Barbara Tue, 29 Jun 2010 17:41:31 +0000 http://www.aspieteacher.com/?p=2532#comment-946 "people really do want to help" I believe this, too, Sandy. Going into a situation 'loaded for bear' (as we say here in Texas) or ready to 'fight' or expecting a 'fight' predisposes a 'fight' (self-fulfilling prophecy). Your advice here is spot-on and following your advice portends a good chance of gaining accommodations. “people really do want to help”

I believe this, too, Sandy.

Going into a situation ‘loaded for bear’ (as we say here in Texas) or ready to ‘fight’ or expecting a ‘fight’ predisposes a ‘fight’ (self-fulfilling prophecy). Your advice here is spot-on and following your advice portends a good chance of gaining accommodations.

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