Comments on: Hugs and Kisses: When Social and Physical Boundaries Collide

By: Abacaxi Mamao

Abacaxi Mamao — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:43:25 +0000

P.S. If you Google around, I am sure that you can find other tips from such folks. (I am fine with any handshake and mildly uncomfortable hugging men I don’t know, but it’s not because of Jewish law, and I don’t have Asperger’s. I think it’s just a personal comfort thing, which I’m sure you’ll find other people have as well. I’d rather air-kiss or cheek-kiss than hug someone of the opposite gender that I don’t know.)

By: Abacaxi Mamao

Abacaxi Mamao — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:41:45 +0000

Orthodox Jews who don’t touch people of the opposite sex unless they are married run into this problem all the time. (People who observe this rule call themselves “shomer negiah,” or “observer of the touch,” i.e. “non-touch.”)

If touch is required for business purposes, handshakes are obviously preferable to hugs or kisses in Jewish and I would imagine most other touch-sensitive circumstances.

There is definitely the “hold the drink in a hand and nod ‘nice to meet you’” thing.

By: Clay

Clay — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 19:03:18 +0000

I’m usually okay with handshakes, but there are some of us who are not comfortable with even that much touching, especially with people they’re just meeting. Jim Sinclair wears a button that says, “Just say Hello” at conferences. There are some others who feel the same way. If you meet another autistic, and s/he indicates in any way that they prefer not to shake hands, it should be respected, and not taken as being unfriendly.

(Also, some people with OCD [germ issue] would be averse to handshaking.)

By: Marijn Rongen

Marijn Rongen — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 08:42:55 +0000

Air/cheek kisses are very common here in the Netherlands, which is probably why I can tolerate them. But it always confounds me when to kiss and when to shake.
Usually I just hold out my hand and brace myself.

By: Katie

Katie — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 20:21:36 +0000

I find that people on the East Coast tend to air/cheek kiss more than here in the West. I never experienced it until I was in the South, and even then it was very strange to me. I don’t mind air or cheek kisses from someone I’m really comfortable with, but there is no way an acquaintance or stranger should invade one’s personal space that way. I guess that’s just my $.02. A handshake is always a safe bet.