Posted by Sandy on February 16th 2010

Sensory Processing Disorder and Layering for Cold Weather

Thanks to the Great Freeze and multiple blizzards we’ve had in the Mid-Atlantic this winter, this former California girl has finally learned a thing or two about layering.

If you have SPD or autism or know someone who does, you know how much fear this strikes in my heart.  I love J.Crew but J.Crew does not love me:

AnSPDNightmare

Tops

This is the part that used to drive me so crazy.  Why were other people able to wear button-down shirts, t-shirts, anything under their sweaters, and I couldn’t?  No matter what I wore, I ended up pulling and fidgeting.

One day I realized that part of the problem was t-shirts that bunched up, especially in the sleeve.  If the material wasn’t soft enough, I’d become aware of every tiny movement the shirt made against my skin.

Another problem was button-down shirts and blouses made of scratchy cotton.  They don’t feel scratchy against your fingers, but they sure do against your sensitive belly, chest, and neck!

The solution was to find tees made of modal blends and supersoft cottons (like what Soft Clothing uses) and have that as a base layer.  If you’re going a little dressier, try to find the silkiest shirt or blouse you can find, whether it’s pure silk, a blend, or just silky to the touch.  You’ll appreciate it when it’s pressed against your skin and not scratching you!

As for the outer layer, lightweight sweaters seem to work better for me than heavy ones, just because I get irritated with all that weight.  But YMMV.  If you want your neck to be covered, a silky/modal turtleneck feels nicer than a chunky high-necked sweater.

And if you’re wearing thin layers and aren’t bulked up, you can wear a heavier coat without fidgeting like crazy.  Until I figured this out, I was putting on my coat and then spending an hour (seriously, an hour) about to burst into tears and pacing around the home peeling off layers.

Socks

Since this silky inner layer/durable outer layer combination worked so well, it occurred to me one day to try it with my socks.  My Hunter boots are great for stomping around in the snow, but not so warm without the Wellie Socks, which I never got around to buying.

So I put on a thin silky pair of trouser socks and over that a pair of thick wooly socks, and then fold them over at the top.  Voila!  They don’t shift around, bunch up, get caught between my toes, and my feet are warm.

Posted by Sandy on January 28th 2010

Instead Of Nagging…

As many parents and partners know, nagging is of little use when you live with a visually minded person.  Especially one who has hyperlexia.  Maybe my husband noticed the Post Its I was starting to leave for myself?  He started to leave these around the kitchen:

PostIt001

PostIt002

100% effective because they made me laugh.

Posted by Sandy on January 27th 2010

Why Questions Are An Asset, Not A Nuisance

ClassroomChairs

I just started reading Seth Godin’s new book Linchpin, and although I’m not a rabid follower of his, I feel a huge sense of relief.  I think this line sums up how I felt about my previous job as a teacher in an urban school district:

We are surrounded by bureaucrats, note takers, literalists, manual readers, TGIF laborers, map followers, and fearful employees

What mattered to me in that job was finding out what black hole my students’ special ed paperwork had disappeared to and why no one was telling me they had IEPs that were to be followed.  What mattered to me was finding out why we were using a reading curriculum that we were being paid to use despite its ineffectiveness.  Instead I was disciplined for not following the exact order outlined in the teacher’s guide.

I questioned why kids were being hit and forcefully restrained.

I refused to take the hint that I should stop filing incident reports when parents and students made overtly racist comments like “dirty Chinese”, “Chinatown girl”, or “do you eat cats and dogs” to me.

Strangely, no one else felt the need to ask questions like this.  They were happy to show up five minutes before the kids came into the classroom and leave as soon as the bell rang for dismissal.

On Fridays, instead of spending any time preparing in the mornings, they got together and ate donuts and I was weird for choosing to prepare for the day.  It was considered anti-union to skip out on the Friday donuts and coffee because that meant you weren’t late picking up your students and it made everyone else look bad.  Everyone would get mad at you for just trying to do your job.

What I learned was that in that system you DON’T ASK QUESTIONS.  You don’t think about how you can make anything better, you just do as you’re told.

Systems like that are not only outdated, they’re doomed to fail.  They talk a good talk about all their different plans for change, but when employees aren’t allowed to ask questions, nothing can ever change.    It’s unfortunate both for employees who feel so stifled and oppressed that they end up leaving and for students who are cheated out of a fair education.

I hear this sentiment expressed by many adults on the spectrum who are natural troubleshooters or analysts, and yet find that their employers don’t welcome this gift.  In my case, the problem was that my schooling was geared towards an analytical career (even my masters program seemed like a pre-Ph.D track), but I, being young and idealistic, chose an overly bureaucratic job.

While a career change isn’t an option for everyone, you might want to ask yourself whether you’re more willing to change for your job or whether you want your job to change for you meh, on second thought I’m not liking that advice so much.  What would you suggest for someone who finds his or her inquisitiveness and desire to fix things discouraged at work?

(photo: Ollie T)

Posted by Sandy on January 20th 2010

We Are The World?

I really wonder sometimes about the few autistics who rant and rave about acceptance yet feel free to make overtly racist comments. (For newer readers here, I’m Korean-American.) I get that the whole mind-blindness thing can play a factor.  Is that really what it is?

This question was brought up a while back by Turner and Kowalski and it’s been on my mind ever since.

What’s worse is that people have the nerve to talk to me as if they never made those comments, or they are completely unaware that their comments could be construed as offensive.
I don’t come across very many non-white autistic bloggers or Twitterers.  That in itself doesn’t bother me because most of my friends are white, but it does create an atmosphere that lacks cultural diversity.  And no, liking anime doesn’t count!

From what I can see, these few people think it’s okay to mock or disparage certain ethnicities because they talk differently…or have mannerisms…or have different eating habits.

Wow, doesn’t that sound familiar?

I just don’t get it.  /Rant.

(The vast, vast majority of autistics I’ve talked to have been really great, for the record.)

Posted by Sandy on January 18th 2010

Because Going Out Shouldn’t Be So Hard

bread

Dear readers, I need your input.  I have the opportunity to train a group of retailers on how to make shopping and dining out more tolerable for autistics and our friends/family.  As you know, this issue is near and dear to my heart because of the sensory and auditory difficulties I’ve dealt with for so long.  (See this post and that post.)

One of the biggest challenges for me is conversational noise, which I know they can’t eliminate.  But it would help to be seated facing away from a crowd so I can focus better.  It doesn’t cost them anything and would decrease the amount of sensory stimulation I receive.

What are the biggest challenges for you in restaurants, shops, churches, etc?  What do you wish they would do to be more accommodating of autism and SPD on an ongoing basis or for a special event?

I’m excited to be planning an event designed to help autistics and families feel more comfortable going out.  Not only is this a great thing for the people who get to participate in my area, but it’s important to get retailers to understand why and how to accommodate autism, and even better for them to hear the voices of people on on the spectrum.

(photo: skateaddict)
Posted by Sandy on January 15th 2010

Need A Moment?

You know those Twix commercials where a person finds him or herself in an awkward situation and breaks out a Twix bar to buy some extra time to think of a response?  It would be so super great if life worked like that.

Posted by Sandy on December 31st 2009

Perseveration and the Broken Record

Perseveration usually refers to behavior such as lining up toys, repeating words or phrases, or obsessing about a special interest.

Perseveration can also happen with emotions.  When I’m trying to explain to my husband something that’s frustrating me, my brain can get stuck in an endless loop, like a broken record.  And when that happens, the same emotions and words just get played over and over.

How To Recognize It

It’s hard for a person to realize that they’re prone to perseverating and when they’re in the middle of doing it.

Perseverating makes you feel you’re trapped in your emotions, and they go on and on because no one else understands you enough to resolve the situation.  Or you’ll think the situation is sort of resolved and then a few minutes later everything comes rushing back and you’re saying the same things all over again.

Make It Stop!

Instead of waiting endlessly for the loop to stop, I sometimes try going outside to help me reset.  I used to do this without knowing why – I’d just run off to the bookstore.  Now I understand that I need a change of scenery because my brain needs a new set of inputs to process in order to stop cycling that loop.

For you the solution might be exercise, playing a game, or doing art.  Whatever it is, you should choose something that won’t allow you to dwell on the situation you left behind.  Venting online is kind of like winning a battle but losing the war – you may feel a temporary boost from the sympathy you get, but it won’t help you stop perseverating.

I’d also suggest having a talk with your partner, roommate, or family beforehand if you need to “disappear” or stop talking during a conflict, so they can understand your motives.

Page 4 of 21« First...234561020...Last »